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” Sooner rather than later he starts to resent walking on eggshells around his lover.I use the pronoun his because more women are diagnosed with BPD; men instead earn the label antisocial much easier.Interesting enough, it is frequently the healthier mate seeking therapy to relieve himself from the immense relational pressures.The repertoire generally includes parasuicidal gestures – none life-threatening surface wrist, ankle and upper thigh cutting – or suicide threats that scare a person who never dealt with somebody who is unable to regulate her emotions. How can I fix it.” Well the answer is easy, “You can’t fix it!Only the normal or up phases of the disease are acceptable to others. Soon the darkness may last the whole day and also the evening. All that can be expected is a repetition of the same dark pattern. During this time, the depression can continue its insidious growth.But rejection during the down phases can considerably add to the depression. After a few days of this, the wish to die may become very strong. They are not rejecting any purpose that they may believe they have on earth or purpose that other people may suggest they have. One has to cope with the side-effects of the antidepressants as well as all the darkness of the depression.Human nature has proved to be frail in a most painful way. I am beginning to feel normal Up the roller coaster I go. Just as one begins to feel normal, the depression can return with a complete vengeance. On Monday, as I face a series of decisions, I am as bad as I ever was, even at the beginning of the disease. Here I am at the bottom of the roller coaster once more. I must continue with the medication and hope that I will go up the roller coaster once more. With some friends I will be able to speak of my pain. It has taught me to have boundless compassion for those who are at the bottom of the roller coaster and to share their tears.
These symptoms not only make the experience of depression particularly distressing for the patient but also confuse and mislead those who deal with the depressed person.
There is simply no consistency.” My view: “Nice summary – exactly! ” An individual with BPD has a frantic fear of abandonment – which doesn’t help the relationship.
Her heightened sense of emotions and difficulty to soothe herself leads to major drama even when a partner is willing to stay and work with her to overcome the challenges.
How I want to be off these pills and just be normal again But the hard and painful truth has to be faced: the depression is real and will not go away by itself. I cannot make up my mind about the smallest details. Gradually I hope to be able to stay up the roller coaster.
One cannot just throw away the medication, however much this may seem desirable. Depression is not a weak disease; it is one that specializes in cruel effects. I can ignore the side-effects of the antidepressants as long as I don't feel too bad. I am most afraid and panic at the idea of being alone. However much I wish to die and wish that this ridiculous person I have become to die, I know that death is not an option. Every person I meet impatiently wants me to be well and never to hear again about depression. With other people, as I go up and down, I may have to learn to be a good actress.
When this proves not to be so, impatience soon appears. It is at this time that suicidal thoughts can appear. I am terrified when I have free time that I might have to spend at home. At this stage of the depression, one is at the bottom of the roller coaster. After treatment of depression begins with antidepressants, improvement is slow.