Dating my daughter jokes

Posted by / 10-Apr-2017 13:51

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are idiots. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants 10 sizes to big, and I will not object.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Sexually explicit or datlng language Spam: This is fine with me as long as it is si with my daughter..

Also, understand your snotty little princess might get on my last nerve.

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Do not call or write as this will only delay the procedure and possibly cause you undue anxiety, if not a visit from the Terminator.

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